dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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