Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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