garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
