WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
