Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
