I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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