After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
