We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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