tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I currently don't understand fingers.
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