Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
