I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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