My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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