hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
