i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
