Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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