Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
