Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
