@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
