i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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