Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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