Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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