my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
