wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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