i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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