Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
