Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
