new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
