Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
