is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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