I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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