Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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