I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
