Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can Purell be used as lube?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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