we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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