North Korea, Best Korea!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
