I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
