Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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