This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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