I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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