I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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