Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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