I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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