were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
