Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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