Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
