Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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