Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
