How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
