I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
