the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
