I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
