I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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