matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
