Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
