i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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